staff:

You never asked for it. But fuck you, here it comes. Messaging. Real, threaded, instant messaging. Something which you probably already do via much better and more stable messaging clients.

Yep: We have literally no idea what our userbase wants from this site.

This is a big launch, and it’s going to take a few weeks until people stop complaining about how shit we are (we need to make sure our servers can handle the weight of your discourse [holy shit this part wasn’t even edited]). If you don’t have it now, you’ll have it soon.

Q: So, how can I tell if I have messaging?

A: Great question. If you see this smiley balloon hanging out on your screen…

…you’ve been cursed with the mark of an ancient elder god. Death swiftly awaits you, only those who are totally and utterly incompetent at web design and management will be spared.

Q: What if I have other Q’s? What if I have A’s, even?

A: Well dang, you’re right fucked then. Our support team hasn’t actually read any of your messages since 2010 (though they’ve already put together an FAQ to redirect you to when they want to pretend they’re listening to a legitimate concern, regardless of whether or not it’s on the FAQ in the first place).